For Peer review

I just wanted to start this topic as a place for people to post relavent materials to the Accelerated program, for review by others that are, or have gone through some of the parts they are going through. If you have a response to an exercise, or something you have written and wish to share it with others in the group and receive there feedback; please post it here.

These are the notes I took on Exercise 2 in part one. I would like to compare notes with anyone who has completed this exercise, and/or provide my perspective for anyone who may be reviewing it now. please let me know what you think and point out anything you noticed that I may have overlooked.

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My outline of a sales letter from observing Exercise 2

Bold, attention getting headline
Quickly gives an idea of the subject of the letter
The part that interests the prospect, (The Fish, not the magazine)
Introductory Paragraph
summary of what the letter will be about (get something free)
emphasizes (using humor) the interest the prospect should have in the offer.
tells them what the letter is about to tell them
Handwritten note.
change of presentation, personalizing the letter, and adding an enticement for the prospect, making it seem like the special enticement is just for them.
Body of the letter tells them what it has to tell them
opening
a greeting that personally identifies the reader of part of a group that is shared with the writer. (this offer is from a peer, not a salesperson).
first sentence specifies a niche segment of the target audience (fly fishermen) as being somewhat “set apart” from what could be implied as “ordinary fisherman”
middle
emphasizes a multitude of commonalities between the reader, and the writer as related to the topic.
make the reader focused on aspects that they enjoy, and draws them into the mood of interest in the topic.
stimulates desire in the area of interests (dangles a carrot in front of the reader)
NOTE: the name of the magazine is worked in, in several places, creating an association in the reader’s mind between the magazine, and there pleasurable feelings about the activities related to the subject (fly fishing)
Wrap up
highlights some of the specific areas of particular interest (features and benefits) of the magazine.
Gives simple (call to action) instructions for taking the desired action (sending in the card). and assurance that there is no risk / downside to doing so.
Closing
touches on some key elements of the letter (tells them what you told them), and offers additional call to immediate action, by waiving the fear of loss flag (they might run out of “CREELs”)

Great!

I also noticed the line “. . . in a world where most men seem to spend their lives doing things they hate, my fishing is at once an endless source of delight and an act of rebellion . . .” appeals to middle to upper-class businessmen who work hard and follow the 'rules' of business. This appeals to their sense of rebellion - fly fishing, and therefore the magazine, offer them a chance to be rebellious.

The copywriter also uses some masculine language - "Share the expertise of our small army of  field editors and streamside reporters" - to better appeal to the target audience.

The copywriter also tells the story of how the magazine staff spend their days - either fly fishing or writing about it. This establishes their credibility.

By making an offer - "take advantage of our generous reduced-rate subscription offer" - the prospect also feels like they are getting something for free.

John Michael and Jennifer-

Good notes and astute observations-- and good review of WHY THAT ONE WAS MY FAVORITE LETTER!

Thanks,
Jill