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My restaurant letter

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1 My restaurant letter on Tue Jan 12, 2016 11:09 am

Hi All!

Here is a link to my restaurant letter. I really liked the International Living letter from the AWAI Hall of Fame and used an extended headline. I'd appreciate any feedback!

Thanks,
Jennifer

https://www.dropbox.com/s/34ilzo5en27jva6/Restaurant%20Letter.pdf?dl=0

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2 Re: My restaurant letter on Tue Jan 12, 2016 11:50 am

Hi, Jennifer,
 I will look at it-- and Oscar's-- DEFINITELY within the next two days! I'm on overwhelm!!!!! I think I have too many things to study. Have not bought any more AWAI stuff and haven't given more than a GLANCE to my "canned" Boot Camp I bought after Thanksgiving.

Best,
Jill

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3 Re: My restaurant letter on Wed Jan 13, 2016 7:53 am

Thanks Jill!

The AWAI reviewer told me I should shorten the headline (by 3/4) by adding some of that copy to the first section and add the restaurant reviewers' names under their quotes. That's it. I'd be curious to see how much feedback everyone else received.

Here's my revised letter: https://www.dropbox.com/s/ammanmunxgaelot/Restaurant%20Letter2.pdf?dl=0

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4 Re: My restaurant letter on Wed Jan 13, 2016 1:22 pm

Jennifer!
How cool! As far as my opinion goes, you've certainly demonstrated some good and strong persuasive skills here. Apparently, you were spot on for what they're looking for in this assignment. Congratulations!

Glad I finally got time to read it!

Here's my two-cent input. How about something like:

"Let me take you to FOOD HEAVEN and we'll get the Healthy REAL VERSIONS of the COMFORT FOODS we crave!"

(Just an idea.)

First one: [url= http://awaimember.groupsite.com/discussion/topics/686198/messages]first draft[/url]
Second one: [url= http://awaimember.groupsite.com/discussion/topics/686289/messages]after revision[/url]

As to my criticism, the only thing I questioned a little was whether the rather large section on the benefits of saffron, curry were that necessary. (That conversation could happen over your dinner at Saffron.) In other words,  I would have accepted your invitation anyway Smile . Not so necessary. . . And that might just be my opinion.

Nothing else to add really. You did a really nice job.  sunny  sunny sunny sunny + 1/2  sunny at this point.
Best,
Jill



Last edited by Jill Arnel on Tue Jan 19, 2016 2:04 pm; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : needed to correct typos and add a thought and correctly set up links.)

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5 Re: My restaurant letter on Thu Jan 21, 2016 12:06 pm

Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it and I really appreciate your feedback Smile

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